Like We Never Loved At All
by HeartbrokenMisadventure
Summary: Severus sees Lily and James out on the Hogwarts grounds late one night. Set in 7th year Marauder Era. One-Shot.


A/N**:** **Just little one shot about Severus seeing Lily and James together late one night. I got this idea after listening to Faith Hill's_ Like We Never Loved At All_ (hence the title). I don't own any characters or the song :)**

_You never looked so good_

_As you did last night . . . ._

_There, walking with your friend_

_Laughing at the moon . . . _

The quarter moon was bright and high. Between it and the reflection off the lake, the entirety of the Hogwarts grounds was bathed in a silvery light. Two figures – one tall and masculine, the other smaller and more feminine – strolled confidently across the lush grass, laughing and holding hands. They were obviously a couple and, just as obviously, enamored with each other. They paid no mind to their surroundings – not the beautifully shimmering lake or the dark, shadowed trees. They did not see the pale face, half obscured by shadow, watching them from a second story window. The face was twisted in pain and misery; the eyes were bright with un-shed tears and crinkled around the edges as they squinted at the besotted pair; the bottom lip was being bitten into in order to stop any noise from escaping. It was the utmost torture for Severus Snape to have stumbled upon Lily and James' little rendezvous, but he was at a loathe to interrupt them and let them know he was there.

_But I'm still living with your goodbye  
And you're just going on with your life  
How can you just walk on by  
Without one tear in your eye?  
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?_

Lily hardly ever even looked at him any more. At first, after the fight, Severus would catch her eying him, disappointment etched into her features. But now . . . Now it was like their friendship had never happened. Lily never acknowledged his presence, no matter how hard he tried. If he sat near her in class, she never turned her head towards him. It was killing him.

_Maybe that's just your way  
Of dealing with the pain  
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall _

Occasionally, Severus would comfort himself by telling him that Lily was in just as much pain as he was. Sometimes, when he spoke up in Potions class, he could swear that the carefully blank expression she wore around him would crack. Just a little. Her eyes and mouth would soften and her eyes would, very quickly, dart to him and then away. She missed him – he knew she did – but she was so stubborn and he had hurt her so badly . . . This was her way of dealing. It wasn't that she'd _actually_ forgotten about him, it was just that it was easier for her to pretend he didn't exist. It made it easier for her deal with the pain he'd caused her. There was no way his first friend could have simply forgotten him and everything they'd been through . . .

_. . . I hear you're doing fine  
Seems like you're doing well . . ._

Although, Lily didn't seem to be halted by their separation. She was just as brilliant as always, just as bubbly (on the occasions he heard her speak). She was dating James now (which had almost killed him when he found out) and had made friends with his friends. It was a very common site to see the four of them sitting out on the grass talking, or to see her studying with Lupin. No, despite what had happened between them, Lily seemed perfectly happy with her life.

_Time is leaving us behind  
Another week has passed  
And still I haven't laughed yet _

Which just made everything that much worse. Severus was beyond miserable. He had no true friends – once he'd become a Death Eater, he'd realized what Lily had been saying all along: his "friends" were evil, malicious, and did not give one iota about him. But he was stuck now, trapped in this living nightmare of pain. The Death Eaters were nothing like Lucius had promised and Severus had found out far too late.

_Did you forget the magic? . . .  
Did you ever miss me . . ._

He was alone now. The Death Eaters found his lack of enthusiasm for the kill to be boring and weak. They shunned him as much as possible. And, after his fallout with Lily, none from the other houses would give him the time of day. It hurt, to have lost everything in one big swoop.

_Did you ever miss me . . ._

James tangled his fingers in Lily's hair, smiling a predator's smile, completely oblivious to what he had. He pulled her face close to his . . . Severus looked away. He turned away from the window completely, letting the tears flow as he dashed back to the common room.


End file.
